Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
