guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
