My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
