You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
