Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will be naked everywhere
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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