i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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