yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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