I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
