I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
