Can i not drive my cunt home
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My breasts were aching with rage.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
