What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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