For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
