I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
