I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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