I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
