Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
