So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
