fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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