Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
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