i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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