called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
