then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
