how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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