Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
