Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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