My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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