I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
