I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
