Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
