I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Randomize
