gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
