what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize