East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize