we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
