Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm always down for nudity.
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