she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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