After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize