ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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