I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
