I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
