? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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