how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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