were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
