i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
