and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
When are your genitals available?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
