There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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