I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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