So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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