McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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