That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
