you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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