And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
