Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
