Three words: puerto rican gang bang
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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