my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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