just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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