My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
