Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
