I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
